Sunday, April 2, 2017

I'm a Bad Mom (Or, Down with the Mommy Guilt)

While watching “Bad Moms” with my husband this afternoon (the second time I’ve seen it since it came out) I caught myself thinking over and over again-that’s me. I’m a bad mom. 

I don’t volunteer at my kids’ schools. (I work two jobs.)

I don’t spend hours making food for bake sales. (The school would just reject it anyway, since it doesn’t come with a pre-printed ingredients label.)

I refuse to do my kids’ homework. (I suffered through 8th grade algebra, you can too.)

I don’t buy or pack my kids organic foods. (There are a few we splurge on, but seriously. That shit’s expensive.)

I make my daughter walk to and from her afterschool activities. (We live less than a mile away, she’s got this.)

I don’t sign my kids up for a million activities. (Been there. Done that. Have the ulcer.)

For the most part, I think we’re doing okay. My kids are good people who are growing up to be great. They take in strays and donate to charity and are kind to people they meet. Sure, we have our blips along the way, but for the most part they’re growing up to be pretty awesome adults.

So enough with the mom guilt.

Seriously? Being a mom these days is ridiculous. Attachment parenting. Helicopter parenting. 
Corporal punishment. People calling CPS for your kids playing outside in the lawn.

Don’t tell your kids no. I would seriously love to know who came up with that one.

If you’re a stay at home mom (or a homeschooling one), your kids don’t socialize enough. If you’re a working mom and your kids go to school/daycare, you’re letting someone else raise your kids. Tell them to wash their hands, you’re turning them into germophobes. Let them run around dirty, you’re not teaching them to be healthy. Breastfeeding mom? Bottlefeeding mom? Oh, the vultures on the Internet can chase after that one for days. #fedisbest

Healthy dinners. Hand packed lunches. Make crafts for kids’ birthday parties. The list of what we as moms are expected to do for our kids goes on, and on, and on, and…

And that’s before you start talking about keeping the house clean, getting back to your pre-baby body in six weeks or less, or any number of other things that we as women are expected to achieve.

My point is, as parents, we are never going to be good enough. It’s time to stop. Stop staying up late and getting up early. Time to stop running our kids around all day without having two seconds to ourselves. Stop planning our days down to the last minute without any cushion for when things blow up. (Like, say, when the dog has vertigo and you have to jump up every three seconds and carry him outside!)

And for pete’s sake, stop holding yourselves, and each other, to unrealistic standards. Put away the judgement sticks. Stop trolling the Internet. We’re all in this thing called Parenthood together.